is masturbating while smoking weed called masturblazing
no its called highjacking
guys no it’s weedwhacking
no its called dissapointing ur mother
Actually, I prefer the term toke & choke.
(via pinkwhig)
GPOY.
(Source: slapfight, via feline-dion)
This makes me laugh every time.
(Source: ntasharomanoff, via bossypants)
Stoners Poem
- Stoners live, and stoners die. But in the end we all get high. So if in life you don't succeed. Fuck this shit and smoke some weed.
Bob Benson needs to cool his jets. Could you imagine being Pete Campbell’s boo? Always having to pretend like his newly weird hair line and tiny penis don’t bother you?
LOL. Bob Benson, you dirty man. Out of all the men in the office, you hit on Pete fucking Campbell? P.S. Bob Benson could get it. Especially when he was wearing those itty bitty shorts a few episodes back.
Mariah Carey in The Butler
Haha
Wait, they have Mimi picking cotton?! ESCANDALO!!
I love seeing Mariah do films where they have to do a make-under. She was awesome in Precious.
I wish this could play in the background of my daily life.
Ohhh Lord yes ! Lmao the last minute or so ! Haha
This is fucking EPIC!!
1. push yourself to get up before the rest of the world - start with 7am, then 6am, then 5:30am. go to the nearest hill with a big coat and a scarf and watch the sun rise.
2. push yourself to fall asleep earlier - start with 11pm, then 10pm, then 9pm. wake up in the morning feeling re-energized and comfortable.
3. erase processed food from your diet. start with no lollies, chips, biscuits, then erase pasta, rice, cereal, then bread. use the rule that if a child couldn’t identify what was in it, you don’t eat it.
4. get into the habit of cooking yourself a beautiful breakfast. fry tomatoes and mushrooms in real butter and garlic, fry an egg, slice up a fresh avocado and squirt way too much lemon on it. sit and eat it and do nothing else.
5. stretch. start by reaching for the sky as hard as you can, then trying to touch your toes. roll your head. stretch your fingers. stretch everything.
6. buy a 1L water bottle. start with pushing yourself to drink the whole thing in a day, then try drinking it twice.
7. buy a beautiful diary and a beautiful black pen. write down everything you do, including dinner dates, appointments, assignments, coffees, what you need to do that day. no detail is too small.
8. strip your bed of your sheets and empty your underwear draw into the washing machine. put a massive scoop of scented fabric softener in there and wash. make your bed in full.
9. organise your room. fold all your clothes (and bag what you don’t want), clean your mirror, your laptop, vacuum the floor. light a beautiful candle.
10. have a luxurious shower with your favourite music playing. wash your hair, scrub your body, brush your teeth. lather your whole body in moisturiser, get familiar with the part between your toes, your inner thighs, the back of your neck.
11. push yourself to go for a walk. take your headphones, go to the beach and walk. smile at strangers walking the other way and be surprised how many smile back. bring your dog and observe the dog’s behaviour. realise you can learn from your dog.
12. message old friends with personal jokes. reminisce. suggest a catch up soon, even if you don’t follow through. push yourself to follow through.
14. think long and hard about what interests you. crime? sex? boarding school? long-forgotten romance etiquette? find a book about it and read it. there is a book about literally everything.
15. become the person you would ideally fall in love with. let cars merge into your lane when driving. pay double for parking tickets and leave a second one in the machine. stick your tongue out at babies. compliment people on their cute clothes. challenge yourself to not ridicule anyone for a whole day. then two. then a week. walk with a straight posture. look people in the eye. ask people about their story. talk to acquaintances so they become friends.
16. lie in the sunshine. daydream about the life you would lead if failure wasn’t a thing. open your eyes. take small steps to make it happen for you.
—
Sixteen Small Steps to Happiness (via pigmenting)
I would really love to try this but WHO GOT TIME FOR DAT?
(via inthadark)
The moment I leave my bedroom door open after being at work all day, she hops in my bed. Or should I say HER bed. #diva #chiweenie #queen #dogstagram
